I finally figured out what I want to be when I grow up. I also decided it’s time to start a “bucket list”. The two coincide but neither will probably ever happen.
I’ve reached a point in my life where I don’t really care about material “stuff” anymore. I want experiences.
I want to travel the world to visit exotic places. I want to do things the average person will never do and see things most people only see in books. I want to explore…
I want to be an adventurer.
I want to see the northern lights as I stand on a glacier in Iceland. I want to zip line through the jungles of Costa Rica. I want to walk the ruins of ancient Greece and I want to walk barefoot on the sandy beaches of Tahiti.
I want to sky dive over Dubai. I want to have a picnic in the Swiss Alps, on peaks only accessible by helicopter. I want to eat pizza in Italy. I want to ride a bike through the streets of Amsterdam. Maybe throw in a visit to Antarctica “just because”.
I know adventurer isn’t really a “job”, but it could be.
I could document my travels and call it “research”. I could get a sponsor and take lots of photos with the company logo in the background. I could be an explorer and do these things in the name of science.
Or, I could do these things just because I want to do them. There’s only one problem:
Some days, I can barely afford a trip to my neighborhood Walmart, never mind a journey half-way around the world. What truly depresses me in life is not what I haven’t done, but what I CAN’T do because I can’t afford these adventures. I just want to experience everything the world has to offer before I’m too old to do any of the things I want to do.
I wish more than anything I could travel the world, but I have to work a “real” job. I have to pay bills and I have to survive the day to day grind. Someday I might be able to save up to do one of the things on my list, but it’s highly unlikely I’ll ever do all of them, or even two or three of them.
I’m always told I need to choose more realistic goals.
Yes, I probably should choose more reasonable, attainable goals so I won’t get depressed if my bucket list doesn’t happen. I know I must accept the fact that “adventurer” isn’t really a job for me because I’m not a scientist or university professor (I probably won’t be the next Indiana Jones).
Regardless, it’s pretty depressing to know you have hopes and dreams, but the reality staring you in the face is they will never happen (short of winning the lottery or finding a wealthy contributor).
I don’t want to just accept that I’m poor, but I have to.
I try everyday to better myself, but the universe has a way of holding me back. Maybe it’s not my time to see the world. Maybe the universe is protecting me from something. Either way, it doesn’t make me feel better know that I figured out what I want, but I can’t have it.
I guess I WILL redefine my life goals and dreams with this:
I don’t want to die a poor man, unless I become poor because I was once rich and spent all my money achieving my other dreams. That seems more reasonable I think.
What do you think?
Marty is a freelance writer based in Kansas City.