I’m like Indiana Jones, but instead of looking for crystal skulls, I search the world for the perfect pizza.
Indy shared his stories of his travels, as do I. My stories just happen to involve pizza.
Is that really such a bad thing?
Some people drink alcohol, others do drugs. I eat pizza.
Why? Because I lead a very simple life.
I work, I sleep, I eat pizza.
Maybe that’s why I’m single, but that’s a story for another day.
Pizza is not a food. It’s a lifestyle.
I share my lifestyle with the world for a good reason. It’s simply not possible to be unhappy around anything pizza related. Have you ever seen someone eating pizza who wasn’t happy? Even just thinking about pizza makes people happy.
In short, I’m just trying to make people happy.
Maybe after eating a whole pie or two you might have a depressive episode because you didn’t eat enough, but that’s easy to fix. Maybe you’ll have some guilt because you ate too much (that would never happen to me). Maybe you might have some acid reflux, but there’s medicine for that. Maybe you have a food allergy and can’t eat pizza (my worst nightmare). Some try to argue my point, but the pros definitely outweigh the cons here. I guess it would be bad if you died from a food allergy, but while you’re eating the pizza, even if just for a moment, you would be happy! My point is proven. Boom (mic drop).
But that’s not my point here. My point is you can only hear so much about covid-19 and protesters and rioters before you get sick of hearing about it. Other people get tired of that. I’m tired of that. We need a distraction.
Enter my world.
Mainstream media is like a bratty kid who acts out because they want attention, whereas I’m like the ridiculous roadside attraction on the information superhighway, or the clown on the downtown sidewalk juggling chainsaws. You don’t really care about what’s going on, but you still need to stop and look. I’m your distraction, and what better way to distract you than with pizza?!?
Some people ask me, “IS PIZZA ALL YOU THINK ABOUT?”
The answer is, usually.
If life wasn’t so incredibly stupid, maybe I’d get onboard with normality, but until then, I’m happy being in my own world. I get really angry when I think about how our world has gone down the toilet. Pizza brings me inner peace.
I’m just sharing happiness and love.
Pizza is your friend.
Go grab a slice. You know you want to.
We’ll talk more later. I’m getting hungry.
~ Marty ~